Protecting Him - My Little It
Posted: Monday, September 07, 2009
by Roschelle Nelson
It was a cold morning in November almost 18 years ago. As the anesthesia wore off and my vision began to clear, I could vaguely see my mother standing in the door of my hospital room. The TV news was humming along in the background and I remember my mouth feeling so so terribly dry.
As I really began to focus, my attention was drawn to a tiny little pale "thing" laying on his stomach in a tiny little see through crib. I could hardly tell whether "it" was breathing. "It" was just that quiet and still. Then it hit me like a ton of bricks. "It" was Jamison, my son.
Thank God my maternal instinct kicked in early because had it not been for that Jamison might not have made it. The nurses explained to me that with each pain I was having my baby's heart rate was dropping dangerously low. So, instead of waiting for the scheduled time the doctor was notified at once and an emergency C-section had to be performed immediately.
Yes, there was no turning back now. I was this little "it's" (all 5lbs and 6oz. of him) mother. And from that moment on and probably far before I realized my sole mission in life was to protect and love him with every fiber of my being.
Fast forward to a couple of weeks ago. I received a letter from Jamison. He's in Ft. Sill, Oklahoma and his words tore into my heart like a serrated blade. Mom it's awful. It's like hell on Earth. I miss home so much. I've cried a lot.
For the first time in his life and mine, I can't protect him. I can't make it better. I can't hold him and whisper to him how much I love him. He's no longer just my son. He's a government issued soldier!
It's been a struggle every day since he left to come to terms with his decision to fund his college education through the United States Armed Forces. I face the reality every day that my son, my tiny little "it" may actually have to be put in harm's way.
There's a bit of consolation in knowing that the worst of Basic Training is almost over and his heart wrenching letter had many positives sprinkled throughout the extensive details of how terrible life is.
But when all is said and done I want him home so I can do what all mother's do best, protect him - my little "it".
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Top-level comments on this article: (1 total)Hi Roschelle, Nicely written article full of emotion and that special kind of love that only comes from "moms". JulianPlease log in to respond to this comment.
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