My Response To A Question About The Inherent Advantages of Being White
Posted: Thursday, June 24, 2010
by Roschelle Nelson
I'm sure this is not the customary way to write an article. I certainly never have written one on this site in this manner. However, I was responding to a comment recently and I wanted to share it with readers here. The comment is in brackets and my response follows. The entire exchange stemmed from the writer, a white male being amazed when he is fortunate enough to see and hear a black woman speak with authority, grace and intelligence.
I hear what you're saying but I'd have to disagree with the part I re-posted. There's no way of knowing how a person's "life experiences" will affect them until they've lived them.
I grew up in an extremely poor neighborhood and a few (and I do mean a few) of my neighbors were white and appeared to be poorer than me.
I never thought for one minute that these individuals were better off or would be better off than me based solely on the color of their skin.
Often (because of the stereotypical crap on TV, for example) we expect black women to sound and look like the "typical sistah" - fake nails, fake hair, gum popping, neck rolling, verb breaking, ebonic speaking and all that other 'stuff'.
On the other hand, we expect whites and other non-minorities to sound or act like the Carringtons (Dynasty), the Ewings (Dallas), the cast from (Friends), or the cool chicks from (Sex In The City).
It's what's thrust in our faces on a daily basis that help us formulate these opinions. So, a well versed, educated, black woman (with short hair...lol) and the ability to speak eloquently DOES turn heads. But it's only because society constantly tries to make us believe this is the exception and not the rule. When in all honesty it is the rule.
Now the portion of your comment about economic and psychological advantages I certainly can agree with.
Non-minorities must certainly feel a sense of "superiority" over minorites. Heck, look at that simple differentiation and think about it for a minute.
If you're not a minority, you must fit into the "majority" which is empowering in itself. Whether the majority is right or wrong we've always been taught that there is strength in numbers. Follow me?
The economic portion only rings true when minorities aren't afforded the same "perks" as those in the majority.
Prime example: Just a few weeks ago I spent close to $4000 in new furnishings for my home. I asked the sales clerk at the furniture store if she could throw in two extra chairs for my dining room table on the house. Surely that amount of money isn't spent by every customer that walks through their doors. She spoke with the manager on the phone and I could tell by the way the conversation was going the answer would be a "NO". And I was right.
However, I visited the store today to exchange the dining room table for a bigger one and what do you know... A majority was in the store purchasing a dining room table that was priced at around $550 without chairs. She asked if they could help her out with some chairs and PRESTO! Her chairs (all four) were thrown in free of charge.
I made no comment. I simply completed my exchange and vowed to never set foot in that place of business again.
Oh my, I've rambled far too long. I hope I've made some sort of sense in responding to your question. And no, I don't think you're a racist.
It's just the society in which we live that drives many of our thoughts or feelings about certain subjects.
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Top-level comments on this article: (10 total)Thank you.Please log in to respond to this comment.you are welcome.Please log in to respond to this comment.
I couldn't agree more with this article, thank youPlease log in to respond to this comment.you're welcome. Thanks for reading :)Please log in to respond to this comment.
I loved this article, Rochelle, thanks for writing it in this way.Please log in to respond to this comment.Thanks for commenting Jennifer :)Please log in to respond to this comment.
Very interesting article! I agree that television has brainwashed us from the realities.Please log in to respond to this comment.Thanks for commenting and reading too, of course. I enjoyed writing it.Please log in to respond to this comment.
hi roschelle,my mom was a nurse, so i love you already-and i know that's not right, but, it comes from the heart.when i was little, i wanted to be black-just to know how it felt.as i got older, it never mattered a bit-my high school was mixed, and so were my friends.i always thought little black babies were cuter than white-so what?it wasn't a criticism to white babies in any way, it was just a thought.it's always been a true wonder to me that because of the color of a person's skin, they are treated differently.M&M is white, and a rapper-does that mean all white people talk like that?silly, really, but there are many who take it seriously, and those are the ones i am afraid of.if i was walking down a street at night, and 2 black men were approaching, i would be scared to death.if i were walking down a street at night, and 2 white men were approaching, i would be scared to death.no difference.fear is fear, and unfortunately, it is well known among society that some people want to hurt, mame, steal, and rape, and those people come in all colors, shapes, sizes, and sex.i shouldn't be walking the street at night!thanks for sharing,my best to you,suePlease log in to respond to this comment.Thanks for commenting. I think at some point we've all wanted to be or at least wondered what it would be like to be something or someone different. Just human, I guessPlease log in to respond to this comment.
Good article Roschelle, thanks for sharingPlease log in to respond to this comment.
Sad but true Roschelle. People do judge people based on stereotypes in the media. I don't think everyone guilty of doing that is necessarily a racist, just misinformed or ignorant. Thanks for reminding everyone not to judge, and to look at everyone as individuals.Please log in to respond to this comment.Judging others based on stereotypical assumptions is by no means racist. I agree.....Please log in to respond to this comment.
Hi Roschelle.I recently saw a bit of a repeat of a "Monk" episode and in it was just the sort of black woman you described. It was intended as comic relief but I didn't necessarily find it funny.You are so right about how the various media shape our opinions. Much of it goes unnoticed by us as it is happening. That's the shame, because it also has the capacity to bring us closer together rather than driving wedges between us.And ... I think the only "customary" way to write an article for SW is however it needs to be written and only you can determine that. Great job!DiannePlease log in to respond to this comment.Thanks Dianne.Please log in to respond to this comment.
Thanks to all for the feedback. I would love to respond to all of you but this is my work week. 7 - 12hour nights...then 7 glorious days off...to recharge and do it all over again. So, I think I'll try and catch some zzzz's before my shift starts tonight. Best wishes to you all!!!Please log in to respond to this comment.
I can feel how you feel but it's ok with the minorities. Take it easy in this big bad world where there is full of hypocrisy and wrong judgement even hypocrisy in the comments by some. How could they ?By the mistreatment you can become stronger and more successful in life.Please log in to respond to this comment.Hypocrisy is indeed alive and well. I can also agree with what you've said about mistreatment or any adversity faced by someone...you can come out a stronger and more successful person.Please log in to respond to this comment.
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